Me and my wife of 6 years are getting a divorce. What do you think I should do?

The last six years have definately been rough. I have been disrespectful, calling her names and being controlling, it has turned physical and she definately contributed (pushing, cursing, blocking the door, even slapping each other). Even though I feel like I brought it into the relationship. I have been the only one that has held down a job and all the finances and she has no problem letting me do it, no matter how stressed I've been. Sure she has had jobs, but it has been up to a year sometimes. I am dealing with less for myself and aculating debt and have bills turned off in my name all the time. The relationship has been tough from the beginning I wasn't able to fully give her all my love, Now looking back I have been manipulative and down right mean. I am so broke, the gas is turned off, my phone along with hers is turned off and I work every day. Don't get me wrong she hasn't been just lying around, she is trying to finish school and she has a really promising future. She is a wonderful woman and has been down for me in so many ways. I guess I've just been really resentful and angry, **** I've carried as baggage. Last night she told me that all the name calling and mind games have taken the last bit of love from her heart and now she wants to leave the state. I know I have not appreciated all her good qualities and that money is not the only thing to worry about. Now she is going to be gone and I begged her all night to please reconsider. She said she doesn't feel the same anymore, but she has said that in the past. I am starting counceling by myself next week and I know I need it. I want to improve myself, I am just afraid that she is gone forever. When we are together it is so magical for both of us that strangers come up to us and compliment what they see. I love this girl, I don't want to lose her. Idon't know what to say that I haven't said before, how should I come at her? I don't want to be a sobbing mess, begging her to come back to me. I have to not force her, but I know the love is still there. BTW she will not be leaving for a couple of months so I do have time to try to reconnect to her, and I knwo we can if she gives me a shot. Ladies can you tell me what I should do? I know women hate weekness but I also know if I just pull away and let go that I might lose her all together. Waht should I do??